Month: April 2016

And then there were two…

Image | Posted on by theotherblackwoman

I wrote this title four days ago. Perhaps women’s intuition came to call. Have you ever realized that your past relationship was a lie? That the one you loved couldn’t give you what you wanted, needed or deserved. Or you loved them soooo much and they were never going to reciprocate any feelings.

Unintentionally or intentionally you had been pushing them further away. The life you wanted with them would never happen. You thought it would. You were complimentary, accommodating, amazing in bed but none of that mattered. They didn’t want you . You weren’t good enough.

So now at 48 you have a dog. A very energetic one. Full of life, love and a true baby. Someone to take care of.
It’s distracting. Nice. As he’s gone. Most likely forever. Sad. Really. I didn’t see it coming. I guess we never do. It will be hard, tough, lonely, isolation can be good to heal oneself. Right?

A dog. Providing affection.
My only one now. Rejoice.

For the dog has risen.

I don’t wanna know you

Posted on by theotherblackwoman

anymore… You know when you really loved someone, or liked them. You were and always have been interested in them. You used to relish in their everyday details. Their trips, bike rides, work etc. You love their hair, smile, touch, music, interests and voice. Then one day nothing.

Now, all he does is ask you about yourself.

They don’t share.

This a de ja vu for me. I’ve written this before.

You’ll see them and have a wonderful dinner or chat and then you’re open again and you trust them but then they say they’ll change and there’s no change. They say they’ll call you and they don’t. Teach you things. Show you cities you’ve both been too. They never will. They claim to be unhappy in their life but it’s all lies.

You see all the joy. Social Media is a bitch.

You’re  nothing to them. Twenty eight minutes of time. That’s too fucking sad after eight years. An angry woman could change their life in three seconds. By using the internet and sending a message, people. But that’s not me.
I just stay angry inside and keep it together. It’s not worth it.

I feel as each day passes. I don’t wanna know you anymore. I beg for your time, your emails, your affection and your touch… I now see its pointless. I got you through the rough times but now you can “manage”.

I will slowly fade away from his life…
And call it day. It’s hard but if THEY don’t want you. It’s time to go.
I was hoping to change the cycle of the whole break up disappearance, as if we’ve never met. I’ve done it soo many times.! Who hasn’t? Ladies? Gents?

I know, it’s common to break up and never see that person again.

I was hoping that wouldn’t happen to me.

So I have chosen to disappear. Focus on your life. Forget about me.

We have no future. No life. Nothing.

It’s time.
Not that it matters..but I’ll be fine.

I don’t wanna know you anymore.

Plus, I wanna be around someone who actually likes me, is interested in me and has time..for me.